New Vomnik

PNW Hike (Mount Si)

I made a new video.

It has all my beautiful friends in it.

Wedding Times

I filmed my best friends wedding when she got married to Stephen. Her name is Chloe Rigdon now. Cool.

Puyallup Fair 2012

Song / Video

I made a song and a cool girl from England made a video to it using footage she shot at an abandoned.. ya know what, just watch the video. s'dope.


Here's the song.

Reminisce

Driving around

Going for a drive with or without friends is honestly one of the best things the world has to offer. You work out so many problems in your head or create some of the most memorable times in your life. One of my favorite things to do in Hawaii was just that, which is kind of funny considering it's an island and you can't really go anywhere new after awhile. I'm planning on saving money just for gas so my friends and I can just take a drive. Can't wait.

I Came.

   I came to realize alot of things in my current exile state. There's been countless hours where i've literally sat in my bed thinking and meditating all my decisions, all my actions, everything. Not just the terrible things either. Literally everything that I could think of I dissected it and tried to figure out who I am, who I wanted to be and how I could be someone that I wholeheartedly love. My personality holds me back from doing things that I wish I were apart of and most of those things include friendships. I tend to reject or criticize people I hardly know because in my head I think "They're gay because they like that band" or "They dress like a douchebag." These are things I think about everyday.. even with some of my closest friends. How can I do that? Why do I do that?

   Really, it boils down to the realization of my ignorance to love. If these are the thoughts that come to my head while Im currently holding the hand of my girlfriend then there's clearly something wrong with me. I mean nobody's perfect, but also nobody should be searching for the flaws in someone just to draw yourself away from them. When I dated Allyson I had so much fun, I love learning about new people and I love the feeling of being thought of every day. Talking to her every night, all those skype calls and text messages, they were seriously the greatest. That's something I know I will always love, the idea of being loved. I love the attention. The thought of someone even thinking about me makes me happy. It could be the worst person on this planet and if I knew I came across their mind in a positive way I would come to ease.

   The problem Im having is being able to project that love towards other people. My main flaw is being fixated on flaws. Im pretty sure i've never been in love because my mind races with thoughts that include but not limited to "I bought you ice cream and you couldn't even thank me?" or "I showed you that band, give me credit damnit!" It's selfish. It's also a douche bag thing of me to do. I look at someone else and I speculate what they're about, and I judge. Oh boy do I judge. Everyone. I hate that I do this. I hate that when I realize Im doing it that I continue to do it. I hate that when I tell myself it's wrong and not to do it, I still do it. To me, it's my most unattractive quality.

   Why can't I just love people for who they are? Why can't I just let it go? When I see someone I hate like something I like.. I go mad. I have a mini heart attack. It's ridiculous! When I step back and see how worked up I really am about it, I freak out. I freak out about freaking out. I don't want to be that hipster loser who thinks mainstream music and hollywood blockbusters are below me. I don't want to be that person who finds different things to be into just because no one else is into it. I don't want to wear certain clothes just to stand out. I want to be me. I want to like the movie Transformers and enjoy the song "We Are Young" by that faggy band fun. The problem with that though is that I care to much what people think about me. I feel shame.

   Being alone has been tremendously good for me. I took everything for granted and I pushed the most important substance in my life aside. I wouldn't have realized this if I hadn't been disconnected. If I hadn't then I would be doing the same thing as always, not giving a crap. There's so many worries I carry on my shoulders that really don't mean squat and yet they drag me down day to day. The last thing I want to do is feel sorry for myself. I don't feel sorry. If anything Im proud of where I currently am right now (and I don't mean of what i've done in the past) I mean of what i'm currently doing. I could be sexing it up with my ex's from the past or getting drunk / high everyday until I wash it all away. I could be going to strip clubs or gambling or something.. bad. Wait.. I guess I could be doing those things, huh? Welp! See you later!







Jk


   Those things are considered a crutch. I don't need a crutch. Im not limping from anything right now (except the fact that I eat way too much fast food) so I don't need the alternative. I don't want the alternative. What I really want is to come back, to not be a douche bag, to not care what other people think, to not judge people, and to love. I want to love everyone like no ones business. I miss you Sam if you're reading this. And I miss you too Paige if you're reading this as well. I love you guys like crazy, and i'm proud you two haven't made it to the state i'm in right now. To end this post I would like to quote one of the greatest.

"One love, one heart. Let's get together and feel all right." - Bob Marley

(Don't judge me ya jerk)

Rye tang.

Writing is haaard! I've been writing so many short stories but when I finally come to a conclusion with one I get so unsatisfied and frustrated I throw the whole thing away. I've been watching a lot of films lately, mostly ones that deal with seclusion and tragedy and one after another they get more fascinating and in depth with characters and plot. I can't create something that deep! Not by myself anyways.. sigh.. This is a hard game to play.

Snow go.

It's been snowing a lot and I haven't taken any photos or video. It feels pointless some times. I feel pointless sometimes. Im depressed and I can't find a proper job. I need a someone to talk to and a blog to pour my complaints. That's annoying though, who would want to read that? That's not good writing. I can't express myself anymore. I can't do anything lately. I want to go home. I want to talk to my parents. I want to apologize. This sux.

Writing.

I decided to start writing again. I use to write scripts and little skits for the summer for my friends and I to do. Only a quarter of them actually got done and it was the ones I really wanted to make that never did. I'm terrible with words and even worst with structure so it'll all be amateur. My recent idea is for a movie that I hope to make when I come back, it'll be a change from all the comedy I write. It's a story about a boy who is abused physically and mentally by has parents and peers. It's pretty depressing and I was actually going to end it depressing (not suicide) but my friend talked me out of it so now it has a happy ending. Hopefully my friends will want to do it with me, I already started writing it. I might post it on here.. not sure though.

First of many GIF(t)s

My friend Chloe in the movie we made this summer.

I made a new music video..

It's a fan video for the song 'No Shore' by oOoOO, one of my favorites. I hope you like it! Enjoy.

Ruh

Mooppets!

Went to a matinee showing of The Muppets today and oh my goodness am I speechless! What an amazing movie, honestly I am super impressed with Jason Segal for writting and acting this whole thing. I was laughing and or smiling from start to finish. One thing I would of enjoyed seeing more of is celebrities. There's a funny joke thrown out with Selena Gomez and Rico Rodriguez (The kid from Modern Family) but it wasn't enough for me! Still I might go see this movie again, so so good.

My first dream..

Last night I had my first dream where no one was allowed to talk to me. At first it started out as a nightmare but I can't remember exactly what I was afraid of, I just remembered I was running away from something dark. After that I was at a beach I've never been to before. It was tropical but there was a rock cliff about 30 feet from the beach, the ones you'd find in northwest beaches. There was a big group of people there mostly kids I know in Hawaii and they were all excited to see me but when I went to go talk to them each one said "Oh, wait nevermind we can't talk." I got one of my friends Austyn from Hawaii to talk to me, she held my face and said "Come back soon." I almost cried waking up.



My blog is slowly becoming depressing.. Sorrrrry.

Ruhw hyde

Here's another video from the past. I still have some memorable ones from Hawaii coming up too. I was thinking about doing a vlog just to use up my spare time. Something needs to keep me busy and since I've been looking everyday for a job and coming up empty handed I'll start doing something creative.

Amazing. Just amazing.

Murmuration from Sophie Windsor Clive on Vimeo.

This video almost made me cry. It's wonderful what God has created, seeing this I don't know how you would doubt his existence and the fact that he is our grand creator.

Like Crazy

I recently watched this movie, actually, I just finished it and might I add that it is.. pretty damn touching. I don't know what it is but dramatic scenes are something i've been drawn to lately. The whole thing is shot handycam style with a lot of jump cuts, it kinda takes the real emotion away from it at first but the characters are pretty well developed and very flawed. This is a romantic film but very modern aged in the sense of how imperfect relationships are today. I wouldn't recommend this to someone who has gone back to their ex boy/girl friend once or twice. I could summarize the plot or you could jusst go on IMDB and look it up yourself.. in fact just go see it, it was good.

P.s  Jennifer Lawrence is beautiful.. That is all.